I Do Indeed Have A Father

Strange title huh. By no means am I a writer like some. I try. Sometimes I feel pretty stupid thou but that is ok, good exercise for me. Ok, there is a reason I titled this broken heart. God is faithful for sure even when I am not. I am indeed stubborn as most people know. Not proud of it by no means but am regardless to say. I am very opinionated too, duh , that is a hard one since it hurts the people around me. God is really coming after His people about intimacy . I am no good at that indeed. I hope I don't make you chase rabbits while reading this :). Anyway, I went off in left field some where away from the goodness of MY Father. I went down the path of totally feeling insecure if people don't like me, or what if they care for her more, all self. Trusting my own mind again, that is dangerous to every degree. We had two people come talk with us, no pun pulled that is for sure. Having to look at again that as many people I have had relationship problems, things get too ...

Yes, another day to wake up , see the sunshine, the faces of our friends and to know Our God loves us. Yes another chance to live as today may be your last day to serve Our master, another day to speak as it may be our last, our deeds and practices, dealings with one another in truth, love and hope. Sometimes I know we wake up and take everything for granted as thou it will always be there. It won't, the only things that will stand forever is the Love that we pass onto one another that was passed to us as Our Father has shown us. Fresh air is always better to breathe and to live in. Is there unclear thoughts and wonders that need to be dispelled ? Is there people you have hurt and need to repent for it? Is there deeds you just know was not ok to do that you need to change your direction in? What about knowing something that God has for sure wanting you to do that you keep brushing to the side cause it is easier? Another day to be open to listening to Our Father. Anot...

Where to start. Gee, I really started thinking and feeling that I wanted to feel healthier, function better . I have gotten into alot of bad habits again, like I was with my walk with My Father. Lazy , complacent, short cuts and all. When I was watching all the movies I was watching, thou they were not bad movies but I was not digesting what was healthy for growing with God. I feel like my diet and spiritual walk is going hand in hand . The more I started looking at reality of what I have been doing , the more I did not like it. I have been feeling fresher and clearer and the presence of My Father since I am not watching movies, just me. This juicing has caused me to look at how much confessingly I like food. But not all the right kind. I think about the foods I put in my body that is just a hurry up kind- you know processed or fast food while I am out and about. Easy things to do. Tastes good, fills me up but then later I feel like I swallowed a rock, yuk. I am encouraged I lost ...

Well, about a week and half ago I was beginning to feel I needed to change some things. When God gave Jim all that he gave us with all the passion he had, and with the Ingathering coming- His timing is always perfect even thou I don't see it. I wished that I could say that I don't have to get out there before seeing it. One of my idols That I had to see was MOVIES thru netflix. Very easy excess , plug earphones into my computer-so not to bother anybody. Steam a movie pretty freely from netflix. Got lazy, so lazy, every body goes to their rooms so another easy excuse to watch a movie. I also know that there was a movie that coming back up in conversation and before me on netflix, I avoided it , not cause it was bad but cause I knew I would be convicting- "Cross And The Switch Blade", I think is the name of it. I was not being with my friends, too lazy to walk ALL THE WAY down the hill and back up. So yes I was taking the easy way :(. It is one thing to occassionall...

Today is a new day.Today is a good day. Not cause I won a lottery, a prize or anything of the sort, but cause - God is still in charge. It is amazing that no matter how stubborn, stray off the path, or what ever it may be, that God loves me more than my mind can fa-them. Today at at our ladies meeting, God reminded me how much He has looked over me and saved me from. Not of anything I have done. I remember there once was a time when I would just go thru the days when it felt like I was just following whatever wim that came, not even making decisions, like there were no choices but to follow it. Time passed and friends in Christ started speaking into my life. Things started happening, like being aware that I don't have to be that person. We have a maker, a creator and A Father who deals with our being as He wills and desires. Sometimes I wonder if I make a difference with people who may read my blog. But I have not written anything for awhile. Something sure stirred in me this mor...

I just added this feature, I did not know how to do it til now. So I hope I have all my friends there. If by chance you notice one missing let me know. Thanks.

It has been a long time since I have posted for sure. I wanted to share a story that was a blessing. Last week I was babysitting my grand daughters. Went well, had fun and was a delightful time. There came the time to put the girls to bed. Well, Subria was not wanting to go to bed so she became a little fussy. I was standing by her bed when I felt nudged to pray for Shammah and family. Basically that Hannah and children would stay well so it does not hinder their visit with Shammah. So, I said to Subria, " do you want to pray with me for Hannah family not to get sick?" Well her face lit up, stopped fussing and said, yes. So we did pray . Next she cuddled up with her baby doll, blanket and pillow and went right to sleep. This story is so in honor of Shammah and his family. As the way Subria was so at joy with the thought of them, I feel ... trying to get out what I am feeling. It is not like Subria knows them well or anything but in the hearts of our little ones God revea...

I was reading yesterday about how God did not even call His angels friends But as for us He calls us His friends. What a thought. Pretty neat so I thought I would share it and hope it encourages you.

I have not been feeling real well lately, this is so cute I can not resist writing about it. Today I told the kids I live with I was gonna go take a nap. Well I get in here and here comes our Audrey Rose with a book and said I am gonna tuck you in. She read two books to me, one was " Let's Go Visiting" and then she sang the "The Lady With A Alligator Purse". You think that is sweet, well grand finale is that she literally tucked my blanket in around me. It was so sweet and cute.

It's like every day thanking God that He is able to save us from our wretchedness. There has been some changes since the last time I posted. One I live with Tehom, Beth and Benayah along with their children. I share the bedroom with Audrey Rose, which is a sweet experience, she always asks me when I am going to bed. She is a delight to be with. Enjoying the other children as well. And the adults too of course. Another change is that I work at our store. I look forward to seeing you there. I get to work mostly with Ruth which has been learning and delightful. Ruth is a very delightful young lady who I look forward to our relationship growing. In which she planted some seeds in those big pots in front of the store which I am very much looking forward to seeing them grow too. This is all for now.

Getting ready for a passage is not always for the ones having a passage it is for all involved, amazing. Let's see. I was thinking and writing today about one of our themes for the passage . I was thinking about all the different kinds of pain I have had in my life. I started thinking how gifts came from these pains.When repented of and given to Our Father. The pain of sin is the gift of repentance and restoration. The pain of self inflicting is the gift of learning. The pain of loss gives us the gift of compassion and comfort for others. The pain of pride gives us the gift of humility and humbleness. The pain of hatefulness gives us the gift of love. The pain of immorality gives us the gift of a chaste desire. The pain of of unforgiveness gives us the gift of forgiving others. The pain of self gives us the gift of seeking and trusting our brothers and sisters and not ourself. The pain of accusation gives us the gift of being truthful. The p...

Something new. I have put my application in two places so far. One at the Nursing Home for CNA classes and training. Two at Walmart for cashier and or greeter. It is a little scary, at the same time exciting. So we will see what happens. This is it for now.

This morning I sat over with Leona . I wished I would have wrote down then how it made me think and feel. Maybe it was just my emotions I don't know but I sat there and had this picture of being poured into and in return pouring it out into others, but I mean I have read that before but it never struck me the way it struck me today.The thought of that at that moment I felt my chest was gonna pop out of me and tears rolled out of my eyes, feeling as thou it was so real that I was one of His vessels. And the compassion for Leona was so sweet. I saw My Father's face. I don't know if this makes sense or not . His Love for us is indeed so incredible. And now the thought of a dear friend who said that if you wake up in the morning and you are breathing Our Father has something for you to do. I am learning that. That is all for now.

You will understand the title shortly. Just remember I am not a writer, so bare with me. I must start with an outing us single ladies took our dear friend Simchah out to enjoy her before she gets married. She is honored greatly for many who she touches. Well after everybody gives her their blessings, she in return labored and not feeling all the way well, blessed each one of us ( about 16 or 18) with a necklace, pouring out her heart on why she picked out the particular one for each one of us,who are we in Christ. It meant so much. Dry eyes did not exist as far as I could tell. I mean we don't just believe in what happened on the cross, but He is real in changing us and showing who we are in Him, so we can be a service to Him. Little by little layers of the hurts, pains and desires unfold, but for who? Not just for me to be free, but to give back what He gives us, by giving to those who may need the same. That we may be free to hear and obey what He has for us. Here it is, al...

A few thoughts, observations and such. A couple days after I got there we went shopping. Wow what an experience. Other than on Black Friday I have not seen this before. Maybe I am blind or observant but it stood out to me there. In a two or three places we went it was a mad house as far as in one place when people decided they did not want an item it ended up everywhere. This employee working there I noticed had a cart that was overflowing with items to put back and there was oodles more all over. I noticed she was pretty overwelmed, I said something to her to lighten it, she smiled.It was fun making others smile or laugh.

Here in RI we played Bolder Dash in which I have not played in years, had a blast, made up silly definitions and got laughed at, up to midnight and some of us went to the highest point in RI to see the fireworks go off. Well, after the steep walk up there I was really hoping for a big display. It was a drop in the bucket compared to some that we have seen and done in RCV, but it was worth it just for the laughter and being together it was fun. It is funny how we do or not do somethings for self reasons. I mean a while back I would not have played that game for being too afraid of looking stupid. Well I played the game freely enough and did look stupid but we had fun and made people laugh.