Monday, May 23, 2016


A Sweet young lady made this just before I left Tennessee to come to RI .

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Alot Has Happened

  It has been awhile since being on here, between no time, working, too tired, different reasons for not writing, along with intimidated thoughts that it will not be a good writing.

 Let's see, since July - I have met my biological father, wow, that was something even thou he lives in assistant living it was a Joy and a Blessing. Mom and him separated back when I was four so all I had was a picture of what he looked like. It was a very nice first visit, it was a healing time for both of us . Hope to see him again soon. After 45 years wow.

  Some things you may need to catch up with my other posts to make sense to you. But also, God blessed me with new dentures that are fitting much better than the last ones I had ugh which were a night mare. Very thankful for these new ones thou still adjusting to them. I had to have my two bottom teeth pulled, one root was cracked and the other was very loose and no hope to it tightening back up. So that only happened last week, still healing and adjusting to the space in front which I have not felt since being a kid Lol.

 Another thing that has happened I had a job at a warehouse but due to sickness I had to quit there for awhile, time leave to be at home. Then a couple of months ago God has been gracious and I have been able to work again but at Huddle House, I am not a fast cook but I do like leisure cooking for the customers that come in spaced out and not all at once.

 That may not seem like alot but those things are huge. Plus the reconnecting with my oldest sister who was adopted out 60 years ago, So I get to talk to her and my dad periodically . Very Thankful.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

It Is A Good Place

        Wow, I have not written for some time. I read a blog post that I had written over a good couple years ago. I don't know about other people but for me , my life does not need to be going poorly or even badly for me to be needing My Father. Thou at times I don't pay attention to that I just go about life and everyday things.
       On the post I had written before was asking God for a broken heart, lo and behold He had revealed physically that He heard me by the broken ceramic heart bowls that was delivered to me. No, I did not order them that way but God delivered them to me like that.
       I love that He does not leave me . It is a good place to need Him.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Bike Riding

  Um bike riding. I have rode my bike before but in such a small amount since being an adult. While in my youth it was no big deal to ride my bike for even long distances or miles was no big deal. Age and complacency caught up with me as far as exercise like that. Yesterday, was a big day, I went to put in an application at Honey Dew which a thirty minute walk , got there put in an app, then walking further down the road to catch a bus to Kennedy Plaza . Walked from there to the Attorney General Office to get a BCI so I could fill out another application later. Then I walked back to Kennedy  Plaza to get on another bus to go back home. I got home, took off on my bike to head to put my application in at another place. Well, the map I used or lack of a road sign, not sure but I got lost. Nobody would help me find my way. That was sad, but in today's society it is hard to trust anybody at all so I don't blame them.

I then came up to an auto garage telling them I was lost, where I need to be , where I came from. They mapped it out and told me that sadly to say I was a long way off course. Wow, okay I got started again with a better idea of which way to go to my destination. Riding along and I was so hot, thirsty, legs burning, no money, felt at this one point of passing out and quitting then  the thought came about a group of our young friends called the Sea Hawks in boot camp training at Port Mercy. I started thinking for them not to quit or give up cause they at some point may regret and they can't get it back. At that point I believe God gave me mercy and grace that I finished to my destination. Got my app filled out, now I wait.

I got back home finally, did my math on distance and time and discovered that I rode 9.5 miles in three hours. I had one achy body. That is a big adventure in one day. Til next time.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013


   Now you wonder why I titled this brothers. Well let's see if I can explain. I treasure my brothers. Yes there is at times we had our spit spats but always worked them out. I woke up this morning about 4 and started thing of my brothers,,,how many do I have ? Quite a few.

   You see when I grew up, my family did not have the pleasure of knowing the meaning of love one another. We did not have much of an enjoyable time growing up. But God used all of it for growth to help me be where I am now. I learned forgiveness which is huge instead of being bitter with life and blaming everybody. My biological brothers who I am talking about, rest their souls, I was hard core growing up, grew bitter with the ones around me. Lost both brothers to unfortunate deaths. One was younger , one was older than I. I grew up actually fatherless and then brother less at a young age.  I then had children of my own. The generational of the not know how to do family still lingered and at large. But you see, it was all in the Plans of My Heavenly Father who knows all and knows what you need. Ok still no brothers til the magical time of crossing realms of the physical and the dimension of the spiritual life God has to over. I met that life where there was no boundary of bloodline except it be covered by the same blood of Our Savior Jesus Christ, who died and resurrected for us. So, saying that God introduced me to some men that became my brothers who are many, who I have come to greatly appreciate, love and honor.

There probably was a time in my life where I would have thought I have a great brother cause he got me a car or something like that of some sort, but that is not what I value in these men who I call brothers. they are men who I have grown to know without a doubt they will watch my back, be there for me and that money can't buy. I don't have a job yet, I don't have a car but I have love for brothers and I would not trade them for anything. You what else I value in them is the fact that seeing them rise up in this life to seek how to live a life wanting God, denying their wants to follow God, that is an honorable brother. Love and Prayers for my brothers.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

God is Good

    I was doing an art- (just now I thought of Hannah, when I typed the (an art) I remembered Hannah telling me that when  you use a in front of a word beginning with a vowel use an instead of a, I never knew that but when she told me that years ago it has stuck.)
    Ok, that may have some bearing on what I am thinking or it may not. Back to the art project. Pointillism, which is a form of art using dots to do your picture. I was using dots yesterday and wow, lots of dots .

You can see it there at that link. Which I thank Anavah that I even know what pointillism is from helping me learn some art. You are probably wondering how does the two memories relate to one another? Let me see if I can try to explain. No matter what we do do, big or small, has an impact somewhere in the persons life rather conscientiously or not. There is negative and positive that  makes up ones life. Just as in the pointillism picture. So Hannah and Anavah were points in my life. There is many more to the picture. We all have a story and a picture to show and tell.

   As even now, I have been out of work for almost a year. It has been much trial. Wondering and trusting God knows . I have been putting apps in many places, online and paper, walk ins too.
I don't know.I don't enjoy not having a job.  Does this make me think that God is bad, does it mean He don't care? Does it mean He is punishing me ? Grant it I doubt any of those things are true. I don't think or believe any of that is true. It is like the picture and the negative space between the dots does not make the picture bad. They come together in the end as a whole. We barely can see the whole picture.

   Today I went and applied for a deli slicer job. We will see. This is all for now.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

It Has Been Awhile

     Where to start. Lot of changes. I moved from my previous home for 16 plus years in RCV Ministries is a body of people who came together intentional to seek the will of God in our lives together, exhorting, building up, encouraging one another everyday, in the little town of Selmer, Tennessee. I am now living with my daughter , her husband and grandsons here in Providence, RI. Why did I moved? I believed and felt as thou God was leading me here. (Who can resist the leading of His guidance?) I moved up to help my daughter finish school, so I babysat the Grand boys while she went and daddy worked. I have enjoyed many moments with them that will be in the timeline of memories til the end. Our relationship is growing as well. Very grateful for the times of fun and the times to overcome. She has graduated now. So, I have just been waiting for the next thing from God. Which I feel is to stay put for now until clear from God .
    After living back home for all that time ,this was shock. Many things changed, I used to walk out my front door at anytime to be able to about 17 mobile homes in which contained all of about 150 friends who we were able to interact regularly. I used to work with many friends in which now I am now beginning a new relationships with Ron and Mary, Matt and Karen with their children, a young lady named Liz, Ma Esther who survived the Liberian war, (what a story) which I am very grateful to God for the new relationships beginning here in a small body of people that desires to follow God and His teachings. God is teaching us as a very small group how to be a working body.  I have not lost touch with my first love body of people. Miss them terribly .
    City buses and learning what buses to take where and what times and  transfers is all very alien to me but slowly learning.  More Spanish speaking people, which I don't understand them , one day I may, but I do like the way it sounds.
    One of the areas in which God has really been excising with me is my Faith, I have not had a job, oh yes I have tried many things, apps, paper and online, walking around asking and seeking, but no go yet. I am still hopeful for a response from a floral distributor here in Providence. We will see, transportation will be the trick,,,,but I feel confident that some how even that will work out.
     This is all for now.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Broken Heart

Strange title huh. By no means am I a writer like some. I try. Sometimes I feel pretty stupid thou but that is ok, good exercise for me. Ok, there is a reason I titled this broken heart.

God is faithful for sure even when I am not. I am indeed stubborn as most people know. Not proud of it by no means but am regardless to say. I am very opinionated too, duh , that is a hard one since it hurts the people around me. God is really coming after His people about intimacy . I am no good at that indeed. I hope I don't make you chase rabbits while reading this :).

Anyway, I went off in left field some where away from the goodness of MY Father. I went down the path of totally feeling insecure if people don't like me, or what if they care for her more, all self. Trusting my own mind again, that is dangerous to every degree. We had two people come talk with us, no pun pulled that is for sure. Having to look at again that as many people I have had relationship problems, things get too hard I want to run away from it instead of closer to God. I get so dull of hearing and seeing My Father. My mind sometimes can seem to accept things easier then deep inside. I am 47 and don't want to waste anymore life.

I was reading a book by Elizabeth Elliott and she said something, yea I have heard it before, but the way it hit me this time was pretty eye opening to me. This is what she said" I believe in one God, the Father, the Almighty, Maker of all things visible and invisible." Then she says this " There's a statement that has nothing to do with my personal opinions or emotions.It's a statement truth and fact regardless of how I am feeling or anything else." It just made me start thinking how I make everything about me- most unfortunate.

Anyway during our two people broken heart was said to me, yes I need a broken heart then God could Love through His vessel. I expect things of people too- well just to say as you can see there is alot of work My Father is trying to do with me, that is just a drop, one of His Daughters that so many times I crumble under and wonder how can that be?

Ok I am getting closer to the broken heart, the other night every thought came to my mind and hit me hard, thoughts that ,had me crying so hard and screaming at the thoughts to go away, well I ended up praying to God to help me only just to hear Him. The thoughts quieted for awhile, I looked up and opened the package that I ordered, it was 4 heart shaped bowls, and guess what, they all some how gotten broken before they got to me. I just sat there and looked at them, took it very seriously that God is behind this, and thought on the spiritual broken heart, I have asked God to grant me a broken heart. So I can hear, see Him in a more intimate way. I don't think I have ever experienced a real LOve for somebody, you know unconditionally, no expectations, not wondering if they see my efforts, not wondering things like that.

I started thinking of much afraid when the seed of Love was planted inside of her there was pain indeed just as Our Savior. broken heart- I know it is pottery but I am His vessel that I get so wrapped up in to thinking of how to get filled, It is not the filling but it is the pouring.
But as I thought and reading the scriptures I started to feel this desire that all that is important is to learn to Love others,,, then I will be Happy for it will be fulfilling the purpose of My Father.

So baby steps I go believing that My Father will complete a work He began, My focus has been way off- But My Father is coming after me Thankfully.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Another Day For A Chance

Yes, another day to wake up , see the sunshine, the faces of our friends and to know Our God loves us. Yes another chance to live as today may be your last day to serve Our master, another day to speak as it may be our last, our deeds and practices, dealings with one another in truth, love and hope.
Sometimes I know we wake up and take everything for granted as thou it will always be there. It won't, the only things that will stand forever is the Love that we pass onto one another that was passed to us as Our Father has shown us.
Fresh air is always better to breathe and to live in. Is there unclear thoughts and wonders that need to be dispelled ? Is there people you have hurt and need to repent for it? Is there deeds you just know was not ok to do that you need to change your direction in? What about knowing something that God has for sure wanting you to do that you keep brushing to the side cause it is easier?
Another day to be open to listening to Our Father. Another day to be grateful. Another day to make better choices in what you do.
Another day to ask Our Father to help us to see the hearts of those That God put in our path. Another day to let Our Father discipline us cause He loves us. Another day to face things that are true that you are afraid of. Another day to pray for your neighbor . Another day for the chance of reconciliation with Our first Love.
Another day to notice an overwhelmed cashier and give her a smile. Another day to save somebody else the work and you do it. Another day for a chance....... you can fill in the blank.
There is a song that we sing that talks about how we will talk of God's goodness. Today is a chance to do that. Yesturday after the passage (into womanhood of choosing to follow God) of one of our young ladies. Which by the way was very sweet. She was given alot on being a woman of God.
God is good. He gave us His Son.
God is good. He has given me friends that help me laugh during my juicing.
God is good. He has saved me from the desires to just do whatever I want to do regardless of hurting others.
God is good. He Loves me as far as the east is to west. Never ending.
God is good. His mercies are new every morning.
God is good. When we have a hard time His hand is not shortened.
God is good. That He hears our voice and inclines His ear to us.
God is good. That He calls us His friends.
God is good. That He gives His children good gifts.
God is good. That He allows to dwell in His House.
God is good. That He gives us chances, friends, food, hearing ears, opened eyes, and the list can go on on on.........

This is it for the day.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011


Where to start. Gee, I really started thinking and feeling that I wanted to feel healthier, function better . I have gotten into alot of bad habits again, like I was with my walk with My Father. Lazy , complacent, short cuts and all. When I was watching all the movies I was watching, thou they were not bad movies but I was not digesting what was healthy for growing with God. I feel like my diet and spiritual walk is going hand in hand . The more I started looking at reality of what I have been doing , the more I did not like it.
I have been feeling fresher and clearer and the presence of My Father since I am not watching movies, just me. This juicing has caused me to look at how much confessingly I like food. But not all the right kind. I think about the foods I put in my body that is just a hurry up kind- you know processed or fast food while I am out and about. Easy things to do. Tastes good, fills me up but then later I feel like I swallowed a rock, yuk. I am encouraged I lost 4 pounds so far. Yea!
I get to thinking about how our bodies was created in such a way to have built in healing devices, it is fascinating reading about how our organs are to all work together to function properly. I feel like that alot those functions is or can be broken down cause of the lack of what I take it.
The same way with our Body, The Church, if we don't function according to how we were created to do. Then it creates hard feelings, feeling every body is against you, murmurings and so forth. I am really excited about our Ingathering this year , I feel a restoration is at hand.
We have an Inheritance - Let's claim it, get into one another's heart.