Acceptance

Another chapter read . 

Blows me away and encourages me .

Just more confirmation on how much my past , all the bad impressions of life events has consumed so much of my attention and wanting these events not to have happened .

Not only have all those events of awfulness robbed me , me being so consumed trying to erase so much , wish them away robbed me too . What a thought .

Forever the events that has caused me so much pain and hurt , that I never came full circle of Acceptance it happened , crazy how I guess that alone has affected my relationships today .

I guess accepting the past events was hard , to accept made me think I had to think it was ok it ever happened even thou it wasn't.  

But that is not what it is about . Acceptance is basically saying the event took place and cant be changed or altered . 

I have tried so hard to satisfy , pray them away,  change , deal with , cry them away , wish them away and none has never worked . 

And to think this fight has not been with the event itself , it has been the fight within myself . 

Weird to say that I am feeling freer with things than I have ever felt . 

Amy Carmichael has said it best 

In Acceptance Lieth Peace 

He said to me , "I will forget the dying faces ;

The empty places ,

They shall be filled again ,

O voices moaning deep within me cease ."

But vain the word ; vain , vain :

Not in forgetting liveth peace .

He said , "I will crowd action upon action ,

The strife of faction 

Shall stir me and sustain ;

O tears that drown the fire of manhood cease ."

But vain the word ; vain , vain :

Not in endeavor liveth peace .

He said ," I will withdraw me and be quiet ,

Why meddle in life's riot ?

Shut be my door to pain .

Desire, thou dost before me, thou shalt cease ."

But vain the word ; vain vain :

Not in aloofness liveth peace .

He said "I will submit ; i am defeated .

God hath depleted

My life of rich gain .

O futile murmerings , why will you not cease ?"

But vain the word ; vain , vain:

Not in submission liveth peace .

He said "I will accept the breaking sorrow 

Which God to-morrow

Will to His son explain ."

Then did the turmoil deep within him cease.

Not vain the word , not vain ;

For in Acceptance liveth peace .

‐-----------------------

I have sang that song a million times over the years but never has impacted me as it does today . 

I have tried to forget , endeavor, aloofness, submit and none worked but

 finally Acceptance I have peace with so many of the events of abuse , death and pain that has crowded my inner being to where I left no place for Love to dwell .

Have a good day .