Acceptance
Another chapter read .
Blows me away and encourages me .
Just more confirmation on how much my past , all the bad impressions of life events has consumed so much of my attention and wanting these events not to have happened .
Not only have all those events of awfulness robbed me , me being so consumed trying to erase so much , wish them away robbed me too . What a thought .
Forever the events that has caused me so much pain and hurt , that I never came full circle of Acceptance it happened , crazy how I guess that alone has affected my relationships today .
I guess accepting the past events was hard , to accept made me think I had to think it was ok it ever happened even thou it wasn't.
But that is not what it is about . Acceptance is basically saying the event took place and cant be changed or altered .
I have tried so hard to satisfy , pray them away, change , deal with , cry them away , wish them away and none has never worked .
And to think this fight has not been with the event itself , it has been the fight within myself .
Weird to say that I am feeling freer with things than I have ever felt .
Amy Carmichael has said it best
In Acceptance Lieth Peace
He said to me , "I will forget the dying faces ;
The empty places ,
They shall be filled again ,
O voices moaning deep within me cease ."
But vain the word ; vain , vain :
Not in forgetting liveth peace .
He said , "I will crowd action upon action ,
The strife of faction
Shall stir me and sustain ;
O tears that drown the fire of manhood cease ."
But vain the word ; vain , vain :
Not in endeavor liveth peace .
He said ," I will withdraw me and be quiet ,
Why meddle in life's riot ?
Shut be my door to pain .
Desire, thou dost before me, thou shalt cease ."
But vain the word ; vain vain :
Not in aloofness liveth peace .
He said "I will submit ; i am defeated .
God hath depleted
My life of rich gain .
O futile murmerings , why will you not cease ?"
But vain the word ; vain , vain:
Not in submission liveth peace .
He said "I will accept the breaking sorrow
Which God to-morrow
Will to His son explain ."
Then did the turmoil deep within him cease.
Not vain the word , not vain ;
For in Acceptance liveth peace .
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I have sang that song a million times over the years but never has impacted me as it does today .
I have tried to forget , endeavor, aloofness, submit and none worked but
finally Acceptance I have peace with so many of the events of abuse , death and pain that has crowded my inner being to where I left no place for Love to dwell .
Have a good day .
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