I Do Indeed Have A Father

I read about Eve again this morning .  Where she had everything perfect , she never doubted at all in God .  Then her enemy came along and told her how she could become like God knowing good and evil and she won’t die , so she ate of that temptation and gave in .  Then she experienced sorrow , death , pain , embarrassment and all of it first hand .  God told her that her enemy will be avenged and crushed.  …………….. After I read all of it and pondered on it and thinking of the Paradise she once lived in and no longer does .  I myself have no clue how to picture Paradise since I have never experienced it but it is beyond what our physical eyes can see , I mean I know there is beauty in creation all around us to take in daily .  Lol it’s a process sometimes, We have a nice yard .  We have free range chickens and ducks and well they think they own the patio furniture too so well the natural process happens, they poop on them lol . Then ya gotta spray t...

I am so looking forward to trying my hand at blogging again. Hope it finds you well . This is a new season for me . I will be starting a new job next week .  I live in Murfreesboro now . This post is just mostly a saying hi and see if you get the blog post . Let me know . 

Another chapter read .  Blows me away and encourages me . Just more confirmation on how much my past , all the bad impressions of life events has consumed so much of my attention and wanting these events not to have happened . Not only have all those events of awfulness robbed me , me being so consumed trying to erase so much , wish them away robbed me too . What a thought . Forever the events that has caused me so much pain and hurt , that I never came full circle of Acceptance it happened , crazy how I guess that alone has affected my relationships today . I guess accepting the past events was hard , to accept made me think I had to think it was ok it ever happened even thou it wasn't.   But that is not what it is about . Acceptance is basically saying the event took place and cant be changed or altered .  I have tried so hard to satisfy , pray them away,  change , deal with , cry them away , wish them away and none has never worked .  And to think this f...

A Sweet young lady made this just before I left Tennessee to come to RI .

  It has been awhile since being on here, between no time, working, too tired, different reasons for not writing, along with intimidated thoughts that it will not be a good writing.  Let's see, since July - I have met my biological father, wow, that was something even thou he lives in assistant living it was a Joy and a Blessing. Mom and him separated back when I was four so all I had was a picture of what he looked like. It was a very nice first visit, it was a healing time for both of us . Hope to see him again soon. After 45 years wow.   Some things you may need to catch up with my other posts to make sense to you. But also, God blessed me with new dentures that are fitting much better than the last ones I had ugh which were a night mare. Very thankful for these new ones thou still adjusting to them. I had to have my two bottom teeth pulled, one root was cracked and the other was very loose and no hope to it tightening back up. So that only happened last week, stil...

        Wow, I have not written for some time. I read a blog post that I had written over a good couple years ago. I don't know about other people but for me , my life does not need to be going poorly or even badly for me to be needing My Father. Thou at times I don't pay attention to that I just go about life and everyday things.        On the post I had written before was asking God for a broken heart, lo and behold He had revealed physically that He heard me by the broken ceramic heart bowls that was delivered to me. No, I did not order them that way but God delivered them to me like that.        I love that He does not leave me . It is a good place to need Him.

  Um bike riding. I have rode my bike before but in such a small amount since being an adult. While in my youth it was no big deal to ride my bike for even long distances or miles was no big deal. Age and complacency caught up with me as far as exercise like that. Yesterday, was a big day, I went to put in an application at Honey Dew which a thirty minute walk , got there put in an app, then walking further down the road to catch a bus to Kennedy Plaza . Walked from there to the Attorney General Office to get a BCI so I could fill out another application later. Then I walked back to Kennedy  Plaza to get on another bus to go back home. I got home, took off on my bike to head to put my application in at another place. Well, the map I used or lack of a road sign, not sure but I got lost. Nobody would help me find my way. That was sad, but in today's society it is hard to trust anybody at all so I don't blame them. I then came up to an auto garage telling them I was lost, where...

   Now you wonder why I titled this brothers. Well let's see if I can explain. I treasure my brothers. Yes there is at times we had our spit spats but always worked them out. I woke up this morning about 4 and started thing of my brothers,,,how many do I have ? Quite a few.    You see when I grew up, my family did not have the pleasure of knowing the meaning of love one another. We did not have much of an enjoyable time growing up. But God used all of it for growth to help me be where I am now. I learned forgiveness which is huge instead of being bitter with life and blaming everybody. My biological brothers who I am talking about, rest their souls, I was hard core growing up, grew bitter with the ones around me. Lost both brothers to unfortunate deaths. One was younger , one was older than I. I grew up actually fatherless and then brother less at a young age.  I then had children of my own. The generational of the not know how to do family still lingered and ...

    I was doing an art- (just now I thought of Hannah, when I typed the (an art) I remembered Hannah telling me that when  you use a in front of a word beginning with a vowel use  an instead of a , I never knew that but when she told me that years ago it has stuck.)     Ok, that may have some bearing on what I am thinking or it may not. Back to the art project. Pointillism, which is a form of art using dots to do your picture. I was using dots yesterday and wow, lots of dots .   http://mycreations-artscrapbooksandfunthings.blogspot.com/2013/08/something-different.html You can see it there at that link. Which I thank Anavah that I even know what pointillism is from helping me learn some art. You are probably wondering how does the two memories relate to one another? Let me see if I can try to explain. No matter what we do do, big or small, has an impact somewhere in the persons life rather conscientiously or not. There is negative and positive that ...

     Where to start. Lot of changes. I moved from my previous home for 16 plus years in RCV Ministries is a body of people who came together intentional to seek the will of God in our lives together, exhorting, building up, encouraging one another everyday, in the little town of Selmer, Tennessee. I am now living with my daughter , her husband and grandsons here in Providence, RI. Why did I moved? I believed and felt as thou God was leading me here. (Who can resist the leading of His guidance?) I moved up to help my daughter finish school, so I babysat the Grand boys while she went and daddy worked. I have enjoyed many moments with them that will be in the timeline of memories til the end. Our relationship is growing as well. Very grateful for the times of fun and the times to overcome. She has graduated now. So, I have just been waiting for the next thing from God. Which I feel is to stay put for now until clear from God .     After living back home for all th...

Strange title huh. By no means am I a writer like some. I try. Sometimes I feel pretty stupid thou but that is ok, good exercise for me. Ok, there is a reason I titled this broken heart. God is faithful for sure even when I am not. I am indeed stubborn as most people know. Not proud of it by no means but am regardless to say. I am very opinionated too, duh , that is a hard one since it hurts the people around me. God is really coming after His people about intimacy . I am no good at that indeed. I hope I don't make you chase rabbits while reading this :). Anyway, I went off in left field some where away from the goodness of MY Father. I went down the path of totally feeling insecure if people don't like me, or what if they care for her more, all self. Trusting my own mind again, that is dangerous to every degree. We had two people come talk with us, no pun pulled that is for sure. Having to look at again that as many people I have had relationship problems, things get too ...

Yes, another day to wake up , see the sunshine, the faces of our friends and to know Our God loves us. Yes another chance to live as today may be your last day to serve Our master, another day to speak as it may be our last, our deeds and practices, dealings with one another in truth, love and hope. Sometimes I know we wake up and take everything for granted as thou it will always be there. It won't, the only things that will stand forever is the Love that we pass onto one another that was passed to us as Our Father has shown us. Fresh air is always better to breathe and to live in. Is there unclear thoughts and wonders that need to be dispelled ? Is there people you have hurt and need to repent for it? Is there deeds you just know was not ok to do that you need to change your direction in? What about knowing something that God has for sure wanting you to do that you keep brushing to the side cause it is easier? Another day to be open to listening to Our Father. Anot...

Where to start. Gee, I really started thinking and feeling that I wanted to feel healthier, function better . I have gotten into alot of bad habits again, like I was with my walk with My Father. Lazy , complacent, short cuts and all. When I was watching all the movies I was watching, thou they were not bad movies but I was not digesting what was healthy for growing with God. I feel like my diet and spiritual walk is going hand in hand . The more I started looking at reality of what I have been doing , the more I did not like it. I have been feeling fresher and clearer and the presence of My Father since I am not watching movies, just me. This juicing has caused me to look at how much confessingly I like food. But not all the right kind. I think about the foods I put in my body that is just a hurry up kind- you know processed or fast food while I am out and about. Easy things to do. Tastes good, fills me up but then later I feel like I swallowed a rock, yuk. I am encouraged I lost ...

Well, about a week and half ago I was beginning to feel I needed to change some things. When God gave Jim all that he gave us with all the passion he had, and with the Ingathering coming- His timing is always perfect even thou I don't see it. I wished that I could say that I don't have to get out there before seeing it. One of my idols That I had to see was MOVIES thru netflix. Very easy excess , plug earphones into my computer-so not to bother anybody. Steam a movie pretty freely from netflix. Got lazy, so lazy, every body goes to their rooms so another easy excuse to watch a movie. I also know that there was a movie that coming back up in conversation and before me on netflix, I avoided it , not cause it was bad but cause I knew I would be convicting- "Cross And The Switch Blade", I think is the name of it. I was not being with my friends, too lazy to walk ALL THE WAY down the hill and back up. So yes I was taking the easy way :(. It is one thing to occassionall...

Today is a new day.Today is a good day. Not cause I won a lottery, a prize or anything of the sort, but cause - God is still in charge. It is amazing that no matter how stubborn, stray off the path, or what ever it may be, that God loves me more than my mind can fa-them. Today at at our ladies meeting, God reminded me how much He has looked over me and saved me from. Not of anything I have done. I remember there once was a time when I would just go thru the days when it felt like I was just following whatever wim that came, not even making decisions, like there were no choices but to follow it. Time passed and friends in Christ started speaking into my life. Things started happening, like being aware that I don't have to be that person. We have a maker, a creator and A Father who deals with our being as He wills and desires. Sometimes I wonder if I make a difference with people who may read my blog. But I have not written anything for awhile. Something sure stirred in me this mor...

I just added this feature, I did not know how to do it til now. So I hope I have all my friends there. If by chance you notice one missing let me know. Thanks.

It has been a long time since I have posted for sure. I wanted to share a story that was a blessing. Last week I was babysitting my grand daughters. Went well, had fun and was a delightful time. There came the time to put the girls to bed. Well, Subria was not wanting to go to bed so she became a little fussy. I was standing by her bed when I felt nudged to pray for Shammah and family. Basically that Hannah and children would stay well so it does not hinder their visit with Shammah. So, I said to Subria, " do you want to pray with me for Hannah family not to get sick?" Well her face lit up, stopped fussing and said, yes. So we did pray . Next she cuddled up with her baby doll, blanket and pillow and went right to sleep. This story is so in honor of Shammah and his family. As the way Subria was so at joy with the thought of them, I feel ... trying to get out what I am feeling. It is not like Subria knows them well or anything but in the hearts of our little ones God revea...

I was reading yesterday about how God did not even call His angels friends But as for us He calls us His friends. What a thought. Pretty neat so I thought I would share it and hope it encourages you.

I have not been feeling real well lately, this is so cute I can not resist writing about it. Today I told the kids I live with I was gonna go take a nap. Well I get in here and here comes our Audrey Rose with a book and said I am gonna tuck you in. She read two books to me, one was " Let's Go Visiting" and then she sang the "The Lady With A Alligator Purse". You think that is sweet, well grand finale is that she literally tucked my blanket in around me. It was so sweet and cute.

It's like every day thanking God that He is able to save us from our wretchedness. There has been some changes since the last time I posted. One I live with Tehom, Beth and Benayah along with their children. I share the bedroom with Audrey Rose, which is a sweet experience, she always asks me when I am going to bed. She is a delight to be with. Enjoying the other children as well. And the adults too of course. Another change is that I work at our store. I look forward to seeing you there. I get to work mostly with Ruth which has been learning and delightful. Ruth is a very delightful young lady who I look forward to our relationship growing. In which she planted some seeds in those big pots in front of the store which I am very much looking forward to seeing them grow too. This is all for now.